Enjoy Your Life!

Bored? Okay, here is a few ways to enjoy your life and really experience things normal people wouldn't do:

1) Clean out your fridge of all those old doughnut crumbs and other processed foods and dance with them in the street! This is something I wouldn't even think of doing but you can have a really fun and enjoyable time doing it. It also helps the fridge.

2) Take an axe to your furniture. This can be anything and can range from your living room sofa to your television set. It turns out I didn't really like it, but maybe you will enjoy doing this more than I did. After all, it's really liberating to be free of all that junk.

3) Turn on all the taps in your bath, sink and shower and watch it overflow. This can really make your house unique from everybody elses, along with the axed furniture. Who needs a carpet anyway? This is way better, I call it Waterfloor. Another advantage is you no longer have to vacuum. The closest I ever came to doing this was flooding the garden, with a hosepipe, there's a video of Dave (my dad) getting really pissed off about it, just type "flooding the garden" into YouTube, it's pretty obvious which one it is.

4) Piss the neighbours off. There are many ways to do this. Try purchasing a large stereo with big bass speakers, mounting them correctly so they face towards your neighbour's house and play some loud rock music all night and day (Note: AC/DC is best recommended for this with Dolby Digital 5.1 sound, but tuning into your local classic rock radio station should do the trick). You could also try phoning for unwanted pizza deliveries to their house.

5) Eat a plant. It is best recommended that you eat a cactus (you know, that small, green, spiky plant found in the desert). If you are going to flood the house and smash the furniture you might as well eat a few plants too. Alternatively, if you don't have a cactus then a houseplant will have to do.